A Stand-Up Surprise

For my mom's birthday, I usually get her tickets to some sort of show or play.  This year, I decided to be a little bit different and get her tickets to a variety show.  This particular show was the national tour of the Rat Pack--the actual guys who do the same show in Vegas. 

The show took place at the DuPont Theatre in downtown Wilmington, which is located at the Hotel DuPont.  From what I've heard, the Hotel DuPont is a great place. 

Recent famous people to stay there include the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays (they thought they would be heading back to Tampa but the game got delayed and they had to change hotels.  No hotels in Philadelphia were available).  More currently, the Arizona Cardinals stayed there a few weeks ago when they were playing the Eagles. 

Eagles!

 The show was pretty cool and while each performer sang their most famous songs, I was surprised by the nice bit of stand-up comedy involved.  I love stand-up, even some of the more hokey, Vaudevillian kind.  So I thought for fun, I would re-publish a few of the jokes that I thought were funny.  Enjoy!

1. Dean Martin:

A Japanese businessman walks into a bank with $200 and hands it to the teller.  She gives him back 175 Yen, but he's not happy about it.

Businessman: How come you only gave me 175 Yen?  Yesterday I brought in $200 and you gave me 200 Yen.  What gives?

Teller: Fluctuations.

Businessman: Well, in that case, Fluc you white people too!

2. Dean Martin:

Teacher (to her class): How many of you are Philadelphia Eagles fans? 

(Everyone raises their hands, except for one girl.)

Teacher (to girl): Aren't you a Philadelphia Eagles fan?

Girl: No, I'm a Washington Redskins fan.

Teacher: Why's that?

Girl: Well, my mommy is a Washington Redskins fan, my daddy is a Washington Redskins fan, so I'm a Washington Redskins fan.

Teacher: Ya know, you don't have to be everything your mommy and daddy are.  If your mommy was a car thief and your daddy was a drug dealer, then what would you be?

Girl: I'd be a New York Giants fan.

3. Not part of the show, but one of my favorite lines from a Dean Martin Roast:

Don Rickles: I've got so much gas I'm being chased by Arabs.

4. Dean Martin: So I had a scare with the wife last week.  She found a piece of paper in my pants pocket when she was doing laundry.  It had the name Becky written on it.

Frank Sinatra: Oh boy.  What'd ya do?

Dean Martin: Had to think quick.  I told her I was at the track and I bet on Becky to win a race.

Frank Sinatra: That's smart there.  How's it been going since?

Dean Martin: It was fine until last week when out of nowhere she clobbered me over the head with a frying pan.

Frank Sinatra: Aw, jeez.  Why'd she do that?

Dean Martin: I don't know.  She just said 'Your horse called.'

5. Dean Martin: Cheers!

Frank Sinatra: I'll drink to that.

Sammy Davis Jr.: L'chaim!

Frank Sinatra: I've always wondered, what does that mean?

Sammy Davis Jr.: It means, to "life."

Dean Martin: That's funny.  Did you know Frank's brother is doing L'Chaim in Hoboken federal prison?

I hope you enjoyed these.  I couldn't remember all of them but those were some highlights.  More importantly, I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. Make sure to stuff yourselves with great food and enjoy the games!

The show involved