Do for Yourself

[Calm down.  I've got it all under control.]



As I discussed in my last entry, the world throws a lot of stuff in our face.  Distractions.  White noise.  Worry.  Fear.  But you can't let it get you down.  There's not much you can do about a lot of things.  The above sign says it all.  Have that attitude.  The world we live in is tough.  The economy sucks.  The job market suck.  The stock market...well, you get the idea.

But learning to relax and realizing you have control over a great many more things than you think you do is important.  Your attitude matters.  You give what you get.  Sound trite?  Good.  Cuz it's true.

New ageists will tell you that in order to eliminate stress and have a happy day to day existence, you need to start out with a positive attitude.  Ask and it shall be given.  If you believe in yourself enough and believe positive things will happen to you, they will.  Sounds trite, but it does work.

But there are also other things you can do to help yourself relax and stay calm...

1) Greet the day with a smile.  You'd be amazed at what a positive start can do.

2) Everything is doable.  There exists a solution to every problem. It may not be easy or perfect, but it works.

A few years ago, I had to scrub a green film off the back of my parents' house.  I got most of it, but I could not reach some of the areas on the second story.  I couldn't fit out the window, but I had to get it done.  So I looked around.

In the garage, I found a rod with an extendable arm, but it had nothing attached to it.  However, extended, it was over 20 feet long.  So what did i do?  I found a scrub brush and duct taped it to the end.  It was very firm.  And when I held it up to the second floor walls, it was long enough to reach and it did not bend.  Thus I cleaned the entire side of the house.  Not a perfect solution, but it worked.

Now imagine that with a brush attached to the end and a bit longer.

3) Exercise.  As Elle Woods says of the woman she is defending in a murder trial, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands."
You'll feel better and you have a place to channel that rage, anger, or stress.

4) Chug a glass of water when you wake up.  Don't drink, chug.  If you can, make it 24-32 oz.

Before eating anything or even brushing your teeth, you're putting something into your system and your body thinks you've eaten something, from what I remember in Men's Health.  Your body immediately starts burning fat.  In addition, you'll feel a little full.  It works.

5) Eat some spicy pepper with a meal if you can.  This also aids in fat burning.  I'm not talking a little black or white pepper.  You don't have to eat the hottest thing on the Scoville scale, but chili pepper or cayenne, even a little bit, helps your body work harder.  We all need to lose those extra pounds.

6) Realize that it is not possible to control all events.  The media wants you to worry about yourself in this economy.  They want you to worry about the US posturing with Iran.  But don't.  The media is biased, anyway, and you'll never hear the complete truth.

7) Think positively.  Think that things will go your way.  They probably will.  Plot out your life and set goals you want to accomplish, and then take them on head first.  You'll give yourself something to look forward to and you'll feel a great sense of accomplishment once you're done.

8) Get a pet.  I'm a cat man myself, but to each his or her own.  If you need a nice iguana to curl up with every night, by all means go for it.  But traditional pets include cats, dogs, rabbits, and the like.  Find a pet for you.  You'll live longer and be happier overall, according to many studies.

9) Buy something big and lavish for yourself once in a while.  Come on, you deserve it.

10) Try to make some extra money if you have time.  Selling things on the Internet or craigslist, getting Google AdSense, or taking surveys.  You take enough, you'll have some extra dough.  Don't want to wait that long?  Start a change jar.  The last time I did, and filled it over the course of a few months, I had almost $300.

11) Most importantly, stop worrying.  Everything happens for a reason.

What, Me Worry?

In season 3 of "Desperate Housewives," Lynette Scavo (Felicity Huffman) has a dream while in the hospital recovering from a chemotherapy session.  She dreams of the day her neighbor, Mary Alice Young, committed suicide.

In the first season, Lynette came home one day, saw her neighbor at her mailbox reading a troubling piece of mail, asked her how she was, the neighbor said "Fine," and like guys usually do, took it at face value and moved on.  She didn't know that later that night she would commit an unthinkable act. And yes, if you're being picky on plot details Lynette's groceries were leaking something which made her move it and get inside rather than take a few minutes to speak with her neighbor.

The dream in Season 3, however, was different. Please watch the following clip and think about the implications (if you feel like it, otherwise, watch it and move on I guess, or don't watch it at all if you don't feel like it) in your life.  What's troubling you?  What worries you?

If you didn't feel like watching, that's cool.  But the message is twofold, and both pieces dovetail well.  Mary Alice tells Lynette that "We can't prevent what we can't predict." In other words, stop worrying so much about everything, even though this is what the media and politicians try to get you to do.

They want you stressed so you'll worry about things beyond your control.  They want you to worry about your body image and think you're not good enough so you'll buy lots of products to help you lose weight through dieting, exercise, or both.

The media wants you to think that the world will end if you personally don't fit into it.  They want you to think that you need to keep up with all of the latest fashions so you'll feel like an outcast if you don't buy the best clothes and the best accessories.  They want you to think you need to have Gatorade or need to eat Subway because athletes do it and if you don't, there's something wrong with you.  It's all a grand distraction.

The second piece of Mary Alice's message is to "Enjoy this beautiful day.  We get so few of them."  Take the time to actually enjoy your life.  Have fun.  Relax.  Enjoy the sunshine.  Focus on the little things that make you happy. Be yourself.  When's the last time you took a moment to look up at the sky and watch birds fly, or airplanes shoot across?  It's probably been a while.

Life is short: enjoy it.  "We can't prevent what we can't predict." None of us knows how tomorrow will turn out.  As Americans right now we have so many things on our plate: war in Afghanistan (still?  oh yes), money troubles, how we look, how we fit in at work, school, and home, and many other things.  But we can't control a lot of it, so there's no need to worry.  In the next blog I'll have some tips on how you can help make yourself feel better and be happier.  At least they work for me most of the time, and I hope perhaps they can work for you.