The Big Big Bang

(from left to right: Karen Gravano, Drita D'Avanzo, Carla Facciolo, Renee Graziano)

For some reason, every Sunday night around 12am as I am flipping through the channels, I have ended up on VH1's Mob Wives. This new show is like the Real Housewives of New York City, minus the "class" and with exponentially greater profanity. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it, other than to wonder, are there no Carmela Sopranos anymore?

The four women showcased are Renee Graziano (daughter of mobster Anthony Graziano, ex-wife of "Junior" who is currently incarcerated), Drita D'Avanzo (wife of Lee DiAvanzo, currently incarcerated), Karen Gravano (daughter of Sammy the Bull, who turned informant and brought down John Gotti), and Carla Facciolo (wife of Joseph Ferragamo, currently incarcerated).

Now, I've always had a fascination with the mob predating "The Sopranos" on HBO.

But these women defy the traditional stereotype I had of Mob Wives from fictional television and movies. When I first heard that VH1 was making a show called "Mob Wives," I envisioned tough, but semi-classy women like Carmela Soprano or Karen Hill of "Goodfellas." These women, although accustomed to a pampered lifestyle, were tough and often took their husbands to task, even if only in the realm of the domicile.

However, the Mob Wives VH1 is portraying seem to be foul-mouthed, spoiled, and very self-centered. I consider Carmela Soprano to be spoiled, but she certainly is more refined than these women. Carmela cared about her family, while these women seem to treat their children or husbands as an afterthought.

The women on Mob Wives hurl expletives not only at one another but also use them excessively in their everyday conversations. They think they are better than everyone else and that they deserve respect, lest whoever offends them or gets in their way face the wrath of their husbands or exes.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I rarely remember Carmela pulling the Tony card so readily to get what she wanted. That is not to say she didn't use it, or use her influence over her to get something. But she seemed more real to me. I could sympathize with her sometimes. Karen Hill and this new generation of Mob Wives on VH1, not so much.

I feel no sympathy for them. They may have gained a level of class through wealth, but that does not make them good people or classy for that matter. I enjoy watching to see what happens, or what ridiculous drama they can create for themselves.

However, these women, despite having husbands in jail, do not seem to be portrayed as having "real people" problems. Yes, some of them find it difficult to deal with being single mothers, but they have the money and resources (maids, chauffeurs, etc.) to be able to balance that out.

In one episode, Renee reacts to a drunk guy in a bar coming up to her and Karen while making disparaging comments about sex. She freaks out and rather than let it go, calls her ex-husband "Junior" to come down to take care of the problem. That, to me, seems like she is wielding her "influence" in a situation that can easily be remedied through turning a blind eye. Yet, this was the whole last 20 minutes of a 60 minute episode with 15 or more minutes of commercials most likely.

Carmela would have told the guy to eff off and left. She might have told Tony about it afterwards, but she certainly wouldn't let it ruin her life like Renee pretended it to do.

It's a train wreck, I guess, and I can't stop watching. I don't know if it's because the women are all so vapid ("Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. You're like the hundredth person who's told me that.") or if it's because just the word "mob" for me conjures up all of these late night wheelings and dealings where it is agreed who needs to get taken out, who needs a talking to for not bringing in their cut, or what. But it seems to me the old mob wife has been replaced by the spolied, entitled, self-centeredness that has become rampant in America today. I will probably keep watching just to make myself feel better about my life and to make fun of these chicas loca. Until the next blog post...

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished (With apologies to "Wicked")

One question haunts and hurts too much, too much to mention:was I really seeking good or just seeking attention? Is that all good deeds are when looked at with an ice-cold eye? If that's all good deeds are, maybe that's the reason why no good deed goes unpunished.

Once again I re-learned for the umpteenth time that it is impossible to rely on anyone to help you. No matter how nice you are, no matter how much you do, it doesn't seem to matter. You help your family, friends, co-workers, but some days you just wonder why you even bother.

I thought I was having a good day today...visiting my grandmother, tutoring at school to earn some extra money before summer session starts next week. But when I visited my mother, that day seemed to go downhill.

I apparently didn't do enough to help her while I was there, and she took it out on me a bit. I pretty much helped her run the household when I lived there, and somehow it's my responsibility to help her run it when I no longer live there. I don't do a good enough job, surprise.

The electrician is coming tomorrow to install some lighting and do some rewiring. My mother had me put out the boxes of lights, cords, etc. that had been ordered for them to use. Thinking I was saving my brother time by taking them out (since he has to go over to let them in tomorrow), I texted and tweeted him to let him know what I had done.

I was looking for no prize, no overt "Oh, you're so wonderful. I don't know what I would do without you." And what did I get? Him accusing me, via text, of giving him attitude and "coming at him" angrily. I love it. Only he could interpret something that way (although he learned it from my father) and compound the ruin of a perfectly good day that began after I left work.

I don't understand why people always feel the need to be so cruel. I'm sorry that it's not enough that I work full-time, help my mother with her house, help my grandmother, pretty much singlehandedly help organize everyone's affairs.

Often I believe I was born in the wrong time period. Chivalry is dead. Women look at you like your nuts when you try to hold doors for them or do anything courteous in any way. Family members think you never do enough. Co-workers, although they may not say it, do not think you are adequate.

I try to be a good person and help but as I mentioned in the first paragraph, it is all for naught. There's no point in being nice to anyone or expecting anyone to be able to help you. In the end you are all alone. No one cares. They may say the right things, even sometimes marginally do the right things for show, but that's what it is. A show. An act. Smoke and mirrors.

I don't know if it's because I live in the US that I constantly feel out of place, or if it's because I truly was not meant to live successfully in this era because I am stuck in outmoded, obsolete ways that no longer matter in this world. I guess I'll never know. Which is why even though I smile and act the nice boy, I'm starting to mean it less and less because people care less and less.

The corrupt, the conniving, the evil always seem to get rewarded. Wall Street bankers. Hedge fund managers. No one has any sense of ethics or morality any more and sometimes I wonder, why should I? Then I realize that it's small time people like me who would probably get caught or get comeuppance in some form.

But no good deed goes unpunished, and I guess that is the lesson for today. Good night all.