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Sunday, November 24, 2013

The Rural Juror

Arguably one of the best episodes of "30 Rock," this episode was funny because of the difficult pronunciation. Try to say it three times fast. Rural Juror.  Do you remember the episode?  It was the one where everyone roundly praised Jenna Maroney's acting chops, except Liz.

The movie Jenna starred in was about, well, a woman named Constance Justice who was on a jury. This past Thursday, I got the opportunity to actually be a juror.  And that's, really cool.

First off, I'll tell you about the time leading up to my jury selection.  I parked at school, and decided to walk to the courthouse.  However, before I even embarked on my walk, I messed up the Sudoku.  I hate it when I do that.  Secondly, some dumb girl opened her car door directly into mine, mumbled an apology, and ran off giggling with her friend.  I threw up my hands and let out a loud "What the f."  She kept walking. What a bitch.

I shook it off and walked to the courthouse.  I had called the jury number the night before, and I knew to take off my belt since it needed to go through security as well.  What I forgot to do was to take the small swiss army knife off my key chain.  I was confronted by a Capitol police officer.  That knife was from my grandfather, and now it would be confiscated.  I'm so gonna get picked today, I thought.  I shuffled into the jury services room.

I sat down once I got to the room, and we all waited for everything to get started. We were to arrive no later than 8:30 a.m., but people were late.  They finally got started, and the orientation head said "Welcome to the Hunger Games.  May the odds be ever in your favor," spoofing Effie Trinket's quote during the lottery that takes place each year to select the tributes for the games.

Effie Trinket

Next, they named the people who did not fill out the initial survey correctly.  What idiots, I thought, until they called my name last. I rolled my eyes and walked up.  I had forgotten to fill in my occupation.  Could this day get any worse?

Next we waited.  And waited. Finally, a bailiff came down and the names were called.  The odds were not in my favor.  I was the second one called.  Jesus Christ, I thought.  I walked up and out into the hallway, where they herded the 120 of us who were selected, leaving the other 80 or so people back in the jury room.

We took the elevator to the courtroom. On the long ride up, someone said, "Is this the magic elevator?" and someone replied, "Yeah, it's the Wonkavator.  We're going to get shot out of the building and back to our cars."  Everyone laughed nervously.

We were ushered into the courtroom.  There were lawyers and a judge and everything.  We sat on the benches in the back.  The judge then read the charges and the process of voir dire was explained to us.  When the woman who was facilitating this part, where potential jurors meet with lawyers to express any conflicts of interest during the case, asked if anyone was a "retree."  We stared at her blankly.  The judge then hopped on the mic and said "The word is retiree."  The dumb blonde who mispronounced the word twice giggled.  

After all initial voir dire questions were asked, about 2/3 of the people raised their hands and met with the lawyers.  Individually.  It took forever,  and most of them were dismissed and sent back to jury services.  They then began to call names to sit in the jury box.  There were 25 or so of us, and 14 names needed to make the twelve person jury plus two alternates.




The lawyers would then object.  Someone would be sent out, and someone else would be called to take their place.  I was the last name called and sat in the chair, and I became Juror #2.    No one objected, and the judge said "We have a jury.  This trial is expected to last two days."  After swearing us in, she then explained the facts of the case (alleged possession of a controlled substance, possession of marijuana, and possession of drug paraphernalia).  All charges were felonies.  

We were told there would be a five minute recess, and we followed the bailiff to the deliberation room. Our jury was comprised of 3 men, and 11 women.  The defendant was black, and only one person in our jury pool was.  No one talked.  We were getting restless as we sat there.  Someone said "I thought there'd only be a five minute recess.  What the hell?"

People began chatting a little, and suddenly there was silence after what seemed like two hours.  It almost was.  Someone then asked, "Are we supposed to be making a decision or something?"  

I piped up.  "Yeah, the bailiff's going to come back and be like 'Hey, what did you guys decide?  I know the trial hasn't started yet, but come on!  Why is it taking you so long to get back to the courtroom?  We've been waiting for you for almost two hours.'"  Everyone laughed.  I thought it was funny.

Finally, after another half-hour, the bailiff and judge came back, telling us that the defendant had plead guilty.  We were free!

We walked back to the elevators following the bailiff, whom we somehow lost midway and arrived at a set of elevators with a sign that said "Jurors should not use these elevators."  We doubled back, found the bailiff, and went downstairs.  We needed to get our certificates to show we served, but everyone save three other women and a young guy went back with me to jury services.

We got our certificates, and the guy who gave them to us was pissed.  He asked where they went.  We said we didn't know, and as I got my certificates I asked Mr. Hunger Games referencer, "When can we expect to go on our victory tour of Panem?"  He shook his head and smiled. 

I walked out, visited my grandmother, went to University of Delaware to get my class paid for, went to the grocery store, and went home.

Jury duty was interesting, and I guess in the end I was glad I was picked because I learned a lot.  When I left, there were still people waiting in the jury services room to be picked for a case.  I smiled about the fact that I was done.  Phew.  What a day. 

The lesson is, though, don't be nervous.  It seems scary but you're all mostly doing it for the first time, and the chances of the trial going forward are small.  No worries.





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