How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bathroom

We had our doubters.  Our naysayers.  Those who said it couldn't be done.  But damned if my brother and I didn't gut our bathroom and install the toilet.  The sink to come should be the easier part.

So it all started a few weeks ago when my brother and I decided (along with my mom) that we needed to do something about the bathroom downstairs.  It was out of date.  It was like something out of "The Brady Bunch" and since this is my house and I'll be living in it for the foreseeable future, we decided that we would replace the flooring, get rid of the old toilets and sink, and put in new ones.

A shopping trip (more like a couple, actually) to Lowe's ensued and eventually again, with style points going to my mother, we had everything that we needed to remodel a bathroom.  I'll admit that the stuff sat in the garage for a while, mainly because of my insanely busy work schedule.  Not getting home till 8:30 or 9 every night tends to make you want to be lazy for this couple hours you have in the evening until you have to get up early the next day and do it all over again.  And that usually includes Saturday.

Bathroom remodeling has been the subject of many sitcoms since sitcoms immemorial, and in each episode part of the physical humor and shtick is that it is impossible for the characters to do; ergo, they make a mess and eventually have to hire someone.  See the clip below from "The Golden Girls."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_3xmrNPDMI

But, given the desire to save money in this economy, we decided that we would attempt to install it ourselves.  The first step was gutting the bathroom, which was actually kind of fun in that we got to take the toilet apart and the sink off the wall.  That was the easy part. Removing the old wax ring, however, was kind of gross.

Next, we had to open up the box to the new toilet and yes, all of the parts were there.  However, before we could install and make operational the new toilet, we had to lay down the new flooring which, as you can see, is black with patterns of small stones (like granite, I guess?).  Luckily this tiling had peel away paper on the back of it so it was simply a matter of cleaning the floor, drying it, and putting down the majority of the pieces.

Once the main parts of the floor were down, there was only a little bit of cutting involved to fill out the rest of the floor which was divided into slender, long rectangular pieces.  We then let that set and turned up the heat a little to melt the rest of the glue.

Next up, after installing the floor around the hole in it that makes a complete connection with the toilet, it was time to install the bottom part sans commode.  This was a little painstaking as there were some parts that had to be screwed in prior to putting the bolts in the holes in the floor, but once that was done and with some guidance of the bolts into those holes (which did take a while).

But then came the fun part.  To make sure that everything was set and the toilet level, I got to sit on top of it to try to use my weight to knock everything down into place.  I've lost some weight recently so it wasn't as easy as it used to be.  Just kidding.  Sort of.

However, we had to remove the water-on valve in order to use a ratchet once we turned it back on since we would be unable to spin it with the toilet where it was.  The toilet was in the only place it could be, so we had to remove the valve.

Next step was to put on the commode, which fit like a glove.  Put on the lid and Bob's your uncle.  Since we turned off the water after initially draining the toilet, we had to turn it back on.  Here came the real test and the point in this toilet project at which we wee the most nervous.  My brother went to the basement and I waited, towels in hand, in case something went wrong.

I heard the valve turn and the water rush, and to my surprise, I must admit, the toilet filled.  My brother and I were glad.  Now, to try the flush.  And you know what?  It flushed fine.  There was a little problem wherein we initially heard a whooshing sound of water every five minutes, but this was easily remedied by lifting up the lid of the commode and moving the ball unit a little.  No problems since.

So don't be daunted by home projects.  Even installing a toilet (painstaking sometimes, maybe) is not that difficult if you have someone to help you.  So my new slogan is this: Welcome to Jack's Depot.  You can do it.